As if . . .

Last night, I pulled Matt aside and told him we should probably try to return to our hotel by around 8:30, so we could get plenty of rest before we venture into this week of unknowns.  "As if!"

My precious husband, as always, sought to do what was in our best interest and informed Tito Gerry of our plans.  Tito Gerry, "our driver," and Tita Baby, "our tour guide," honored our request and returned us to our hotel promptly.  And, we were exhausted!  We were out and about for approximately 8 hours and still battling jet lag a bit.  So, I was eager for a shower and a good night's rest.  "As if!"

By 10, I tried to sleep.  I would fall asleep for a brief moment and then jerk awake with a pounding heart.  This is the biggest job interview I've ever had!  The nerves are incredible . .  . ALL NIGHT, I was up with a pounding heart.  I managed to fall asleep from about 1-2, then awoke, then again awoke at 4 and can't sleep!

I was thinking about it, and the three I gave birth to pretty much had to love me - I was all they knew from the VERY beginning.  I was the first face they saw at birth - the voice they always heard while in the womb.  But Rammy . . . the Lord and the folks at Gentle Hands have taken pretty darn good care of him.  He could very well say, "hey folks good to finally see the mommy and daddy from the pictures I've had, but I'm good here. You just go ahead and get back on the plane and head on back. I'm good here.  No really - go."  As part of me longs for one of those scenes like in the movies where he runs to us in slow motion and jumps into our arms and a breeze blows through our hair, I also know the reality is he may see us and turn, run and hide.

One thing I know is this . . . his reaction won't change my heart for him (it might hurt a little).  But, I know this is our son.  God has made that to clear to us for a long time now.  I will love him regardless . . . I just hope I pass the "interview."

Appreciate your prayers for plenty of energy this week.  Although I've had little sleep, I know today I will run on adrenalin.  Tomorrow . . . your prayers.  Thank you for your thoughts, encouragement and prayers.  They are so precious to me.
God bless.